The seats at Finlinson Field remain unfilled; the equipment unused, and the noises that usually populate a Saturday afternoon at Finlinson Field are suddenly silenced.
Who’s to blame?
“That greedy, backstabbing, Barbarian Breck Dockstader,” said Commissioner Norm.
In a unilateral* move, Dockstader ordered the strike.
Immediate speculation asserts that Dockstader, who had a troubled season last year as a utility infielder, called for the strike after not making the majors.
Dockstader, instead, was assigned to play for the LaVerkin Lethargy, a Single-A team, not far from where Dockstader’s roots in Hurricane**.
Dockstader was elected union president last year after he campaigned for the job. He replaced previous president Tammy Finlinson.
“No one had ever campaigned before,” said Wayne. “I thought it was unusual. But I got a pencil, and the promise of donuts at every players meeting. So I voted for him. And you know what? That dingleberry has not once brought donuts.
“And now he is ordering a strike, which means I won’t be able to buy as many donuts.”
Tammy Finlinson said she was not surprises to see her replacement struggle.
“He had no prior experience, a low batting average and an even lower PVR,” she said. “Of course, he sucks.”
Dockstader purportedly is asking for a larger share of the revenue. Currently, the players get 14 percent. He wants 16 percent.
* – Dale, that means “acting on his own.”
* – Pronounced like hurricane by those who can read. Her-ih-CUN by those who live there. Yes, that means Hurricanites can’t read. Don’t worry about me posting that on this Web site; the people in Hurricane will never know.
